The Rising of the AmyK Wall

When you reach to touch me I clench my jaw, hit rewind.
Foreshadowing a possible eventual broken heart,
The comic strip flashes through my mind.
And I question it... I question you. I wonder what the fuck is wrong with you?

You are a disease. Thoughts cause unnecessary feelings of dis-ease.
Do you do these things as a way to appease...
The wild inside of an unsteady creature?
One ready to escape the possible domestication.
The lion that is ready to attack his unsuspecting teacher.

My friend

Today a very good friend of mine told me that I am one of those people that puts everyone around them in a good mood when I'm around. I cried.

My Words

It's late and blogging is not on my schedule. But if I didn't type something I wouldn't feel right. The end of the semester is here and I "learned" that to write is to allow yourself to be vulnerable.

And so I want to be vulnerable. I want to clack away and form literary art. I want to know that someone might read the message my mind has sent my fingers. I want to think that maybe somewhere someone might fall in love with my words because they are me. I struggle sometimes with it. I am struggling now because I am trying to understand something that I cannot even identify. Or perhaps I am struggling to find something, some sort of fulfillment I am lacking. I am not quite sure, but it is lonely. At the end of the day, I am lonely. I am missing. I am not in love, I am in miss. And it does not feel good. It does feel sad. Can I blame it on the weather? Sure, let's do that. Most people do. And then it makes this all a little less real.

Summer?

i can't believe that it's the end of the semester. the thing that really gets me is that it isn't warm out yet. somedays its not that bad but it only lasts for a little while and by the end of the night its freezing. i can't barely sit outside bc the wind is so cool compared to how warm the sun is. i just want to be able to wear my nice summer clothes and go to the beach... won't that be nice

New Job ; )

About a month ago I started a new job at this hair salon and so far I absolutley love it! I'm training to be a receptionist (obviously not a hair stylist). i'm super xcited because I havne't had a job like this in a long time. I mean i work at a daycare and i tutor and babysit but nothing serious i guess you could say. the last job i had i worked at eckerd which wasn't that bad until i transfered to a different one and got a new manager. he was a complete asshole and we just never had any fun, it was like ring people out and straighten the shelves BORING. but now i get a really good discount on all salon services and products (mind you they have a spa) so i am in heaven.. i just hope that working with that many females doesn't turn into some situation like the one with the girl i wrote about. Note to self: keep jokes to yourself. oops.

My Crappy Day

How pissed was i yesterday when after I walk out of my class after taking a test this girl comes up to me and confronts me about some crazy shit. This girl made a big deal about this stupid class project we had to do and went around to try and find someone to work with but in the process talked so much shit about a me and this other girl in the class. so i found out what she was saying adn i didnt care whatever no big deal. but one of the things she said was oh they miss so much class (which isn't true cause i missed only 3) they aren't good students i don't want to work with them blah blah blah. tuesady she missed her second class and i made a joke saying oh wow she missed her second class must mean shes a bad student. and then the other two girls went off on a tangent abotu her and ya know I laughed but there wasn't anything malicious said. so i guess one of the other girls in the class decided she should tell her because she has nothing else better to do and because im sure they were such good friends :/ and in the end I got bitched at for saying everything. but its okay because i bitched at her too and told her she needs to get her facts straight before she comes yelling at me because i didnt say any of the things she accused me of

so overall for about 5 mins. i stood on third floor lally yelling back and forth with this girl and i felt like i was in high school all over again. it was horrible because the bit*h just didn't see where she was wrong and wouldn't shuttup. so yeah i felt like shit and my whole day was ruined

My Friend

so when we wrote poems for Eng 206 one of my poems was about a friend i had for a reallllly long time. Now... she was a good friend, but for some strange reason a lot of crazy things used to happen to her... like really fucked up shit. so i would think oh poor "my friend" i can't believe all this shit happens to her. until one day she made this lie up about her mom n when i talked to her mom her mom told me that it wasn't true. so then i thought about it n i was like she must be lying about so much shit. and it all clicked... if that makes any sense. it was as if knowing that she could make up such a big fat lie about her mother made it only seem logical that other things could be lies. (especially since they really didn't make any sense to begin with) so that is the story with a lot of ommisions

THE END